end of my rope

quick, grab the rope man!

i really hope i am pms'ing or else i am having serious mental issues. i think the fact that my daughter is turning ten and that i am turning 30 and am about to finish school for real, which means loan repayment, is making me physically ill, to which there is no cure.

i dont know what the hell i was thinking going to school for seven years. i owe $85k plus interest. now i will never own a home until i have it paid off.

i hate everything. i hate my friends, my boyfriend, my job, my career, my house, my body, my clothes, my bank account balance, my credit card balance, my student loan debt, my committment to being a single parent, my baby daddy, my split ends, my half painted living room, my poor eye sight, the weather, file folders, bad cell phone reception, no babysitter, bitchy co-op neighbours, couch scratching cats, no ring on my finger, other people buying homes, snarky nail ladies, lack of volunteer appreciation, the difficulty of transfering information between non-networked hard drives, rich people, poor people, and no-shows.

i need a plan. i need a f*ing plan. I NEED A PLAN.